This morning when I sent Darius to school, he wasn’t fussing anymore and even stood still while I signed on the register. I was surprised and pleased that he’s recognising the procedure now.

For the past two weeks, since 23rd of March, the first day he was without me in the childcare centre, he has been very resistant at the doorway every morning. He would start whining the moment we reached the door, refused to show his hands or open his mouth for inspection (HFMD). He would also cry the moment he is carried by the teachers at which I have to wave a quick goodbye and disappear as fast as I could without looking back.

Yesterday, I handed him to the form teacher at the door. He just propped on her, did not look at me nor cry. I was a little surprised. As she was in charge of the inspection, she let him walk about beside her within the confines of the chairs. When I fetched him at 12pm, he was all smiles and was laughing. A change of attitude from the previous week, where he was quite moody and silent til we reached home. Probably he was in a good mood since we have spent a lot of time with him the past long weekend?

This morning, while putting on his uniform, he didn’t whine anymore and even wanted to put on it himself (He has been whining every time he sees it). Then, he was willing to run by himself over the playground area to reach the entrance of the CC. I used to have to carry him all the way there because he doesn’t want me to go. So I was able to hold onto his hand to sign the register while the teacher-in-charge checked his temperature and sanitised his hands.

I carried him over to the form teacher again (because he doesn’t want to walk in) and he willingly went over to her without crying. His teacher was surprised too that he willingly came over to her without any crying. Then, while I walked in to place his bag at the shoes area, his teacher asked him to say bye bye to me.

Back facing me like yesterday, he actually made a little wave with his hand when I said, “Bye Bye”! We were both so astonished and I couldn’t resist saying a “Wow!” and left soon after.

He’s finally getting used to the place and the teachers.

But that’s because he knows I’ll appear soon at 12pm where he’ll scream a “Ma!!!” and tugged at the door, eager to get out.

Not sure what will happen when he goes into full-day once I secured a job.

Now our routine is:

- Get up at 7:30am, let him do his big business, feed him oatmeal breakfast, go for school at 8:20am, reached school at 8:50am after taking two buses.

- I take two buses back to home after buying breakfast. Reached at 9:30am. Surf the net, eat my breakfast. (Type this post)

- 2 hours is soon up. Go school at 11:35pm. Reached school at 12-12.05pm, fetched him, return home.

- He take a nap at about 1pm after bath, sleep til 3:30pm.

- Afternoon, I play games with him, read storybooks, or go for a walk after his milk at evening time 5pm. On alternate days, I cooked after his milk and Papa would bring him for walk after dinner, at around 7.30pm.

About my work:

I applied in end February for a Primary Teaching position. Waited for a reply for interview for about two weeks. In the meantime, we tried out childcare in Mid-March in case I’m not granted an interview and the interview happened to come on the second day of his trial. After that, I had to wait for the results which they would inform me in 15 days.

I received news of my letter of offer via sms 10 days later. Yesterday, after a week, I received the letter through post asking me to go for an appt briefing on the 15th of April.

I’m offered a Contract position for now. Alas, it would only commence in September 2010. I thought I could enter NIE this year but seemed that I still need to wait. We were both shocked at the date because it would mean that Darius would be in childcare while I’m still not working for about 4.5 months.

This is something unexpected for us as we thought I would be able to get a job at least soon or worked as an untrained. So we were bearing the hefty costs for this month, thinking it’s a temporal arrangement.

We thought of pulling him out first til we are nearer the date where I would start work but he has just started to get used to the life in the CC. As in the above, he knows how to wave bye to me without tears now.

Pulling him out and placing him back again after another three four months might have a disastrous effect. He would have to get used to it all over again. He might not get a place in the same CC if the places are full. Then, he would lose the bond he had formed with the teachers these two weeks and need to get used to a new centre and teachers again.

Also, we might not be able to find a good CC where they don’t mind that he’s in cloth diapers, in toilet training when he doesn’t even know how to say he wants to pee. His teachers had been so accomodating and patient with him to bring him to toilet to pee at certain timings or asked him whether he wants to. That day the teacher didn’t mind that he pooped on his cloth diaper and even helped me washed it off so cleanly. They aren’t like other centres saying, “Oh we only use Disposables as cloth is unhygenic if dirtied. And it’s troublesome for the teachers…”

So we are having a big headache right now, deciding what to do during these 4.5months. Get a job that allows me to work only 3-4 months???

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