Finally, today is Day 4 where he would be left in the centre with the teachers without either of us around.

But first, I need to update about Day 3.

Day 3 – Cry, Cry and Cry

I accompanied him to the centre thinking that I would be leaving him for a short period and join back in for the water-play. However, I was informed that they are having a birthday party for a K1 student and everyone would be going over to the other classroom along the void-deck. Since Darius was whining the moment we reached the door of the centre, (His memory is too good, he remembered he was left there for a while) and was rather clingy to me, I thought I would join in for it, then leave him when the party is done.

I didn’t expect the party to be so extravagant however with party hats given out, huge birthday cake for the entire cohort and even a magician performing tricks. So for almost 2 hours which was his entire curriculum time, we were ‘stuck’ in the room watching the performance and I didn’t want to leave him with the teachers since he kept crying all the time. The teachers were also very busy handling the kids, making sure everyone eats their cake and helping them to clean up. I do not think they would have time to keep an eye on the crying Darius. He kept crying out and at one time was afraid of hearing the children shouting out. But he joined in the clapping hands and was clapping away. I also had to help feed him the cake.

My only complaint was they never brought the waterbottles along so he didn’t get to drink water after eating the cake and was very thirsty half-way. I had to leave the classroom to go back to fetch the waterbottle for him to drink.

Afterwards, it was time for lunch and the teacher fed him while I sat somewhere watching. He was crying again in between eating his porridge.

Finally time for waterplay and he was like that again.

During the water play which is just a small pool filled with water to their ankles, he was facing me all the time and a child poured water on him which made him whine as he disliked water flowing into his eyes. He managed to get a scoop after that and had fun scooping the water. Gradually, he didn’t mind the children ‘swimming’ around him and even tried to touch someone’s legs. However, he started crying again when I brought him out of the pool to stop the activity. That’s a problem he has. He doesn’t want to stop doing certain activity if he’s very engrossed. He needs another activity to keep him occupied.

When I brought him to the shower room, he was screaming and crying all the time, waiting for his turn to bathe. Really very frustrated with his high-pitched screaming in the enclosed bathroom which echoed his every scream. He NEVER once screamed like that before at home. He was still doing that the whole time while he was being bathed by a teacher. Then, I quickly dressed him and we went home.

I felt drained again after the whole ordeal and went to bed with a headache from all those screamings and wailings. I wondered how he would survive Day 4 without me.

Later in the evening, I brought him to run outside after I cooked dinner and he enjoyed himself. He was like usual again, laughing and playing catching with me.

Day 4 – Alone with Others

So today, it’s time for the REAL Test of leaving him with other caregivers for a longer period of time. He has never been away from us for even a second. His grandparents had never taken care of him too without us.

The actual lessons start from 9am so after the first day, we had been waking up at 7:30am, eating a full breakfast first before leaving the house around 8:20am to reach there at 8:50am. After seeing that they mostly have bread for breakfast, I do not want him to just take a few bites at school and feel hungry later.

To eliminate any fuss due to hunger or discomfort, I made sure to:

• After he woke up, got him to the toilet to do his big business for the day. (He dislikes the toilet bowl at school and wouldn’t sit on it the first day. But he may have stomach ache and fuss if he doesn’t poop in the morning).
• Feed him his breakfast after the poop so he would not feel hungry and fuss. He did once today after he woke up and after his breakfast, when I brought him to toilet to pee (unexpectedly, another time), so I’m relieved he wouldn’t be having stomach ache and couldn’t tell the teacher.
• Change him into training pants since he already pooped. He’s more comfortable in them then disposables.
• On reaching school, ask the teacher to bring him to pee.
• I also had at least two training pants, two pants, two disposables and one extra shirt in the bag for the teachers to change him if he wetted himself. Also small handtowel, and a handkerchief.

So, he started crying again when we reached the door and they checked his hands. And when I passed him over to the teacher, he howled. I gave him a peck on the cheek and told him I’ll come back later and to listen to his teacher. He just wanted to grab me back and I had to quickly give him a wave and a smile before leaving the centre. The howling went right through the walls and I could hear them even after I walked some distance with a heavy heart.

The sky turned dark all of a sudden and when I waited for the bus, the rain poured down really heavily, matching my feelings.

Then, I went home and spent the rest of the day feeling oddly empty and alone, eating my breakfast and reading newspapers. When he was around, I felt he was very pesky and rather do my own stuff. Now he’s not around, the house seemed really quiet.

While waiting, I kept glancing at the clock waiting for 11:15am so I can make my way back.  But time seemed to pass so slowly. So I skype hubby to talk to him (We always communicate during the day with skype). Hubby was upset too that Darius cried so much when I was leaving and he was surprised I left him without sneaking back.

Well, I replied him that IF he saw me around, he would start crying and the teacher would have a harder time soothing him. It’s not really possible to hide and sneak a peak at him because the windows and doors are usually very wide open. Since I had observed them for three days, I trusted that the teacher would be able to handle him well and just left him. My plan was to arrive slightly earlier at 11:45am and sneak a peak then. The official time to go is around 12-12:30pm.

On arrival, everything was quiet and the children were having their lunch. Didn’t hear his cries nor see him around because they were eating behind a closed door. Later, I found out that he did not want to eat the lunch because it was ‘Mee Tai Bak’. I had never given him that before to eat since I don’t eat it myself.

According to the teachers, after I left, he calmed down and stopped crying when he was given the materials to work with. But if he finished one activity, they had to quickly give him another one to stop him from crying. For example, he was scooping the macaroni again but once it was all on the tray, he just wanted to switch to another activity. Luckily, he gets engrossed once he have something to do so he did not fuss much. The ‘Tot School’ activities (scooping, transferring, sorting) he was doing with me since 15 months old came in handy now since he had no problem concentrating on doing an activity by himself.

I was also very surprised that he did not cry during the Circle Time. His teacher said she had placed him on her lap and also the children did not scream so much this time. Maybe he’s starting to get used to it.

Overall, I was expecting to see a tearful Darius but instead was greeted with a quiet Darius who only whined to get out of the gate upon seeing me but settled very fast, babbling to himself once he’s in my arms.

Hubby came to meet me as it was his lunch time and his colleague drove him over. We were both very surprised at his adaptability. We knew he was adaptable since he weened out of his pacifier very quickly and also often adjusted very fast to changes in his routine, toilet training or sleeping place but we didn’t know he could adapt so well on the first day of leaving him with the teachers.

We were almost thinking to look out for another centre after this trial is over because he seemed to be rather miserable for the first three days but today, he has proved otherwise. So we are holding back now. Hopefully, he would really be alright for the next few days and we will be able to decide whether to continue with this centre.

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