Sorry but daddy can't bring you outside...

As Catherine was to attend an important job interview today, I took a day’s leave and stood in to accompany Darius to his childcare centre this morning.

Instead of arriving early at 7am like yesterday, we decided to only bring him in slightly before 9am, when the Circle Time session would begin. We felt that it would be quite pointless to have him there too early where he had nothing much to do anyway.

I was supposed to feed him his cereal breakfast at home before leaving but we came to realise that there was no more cereal left. In the end, I only fed him some biscuits while we were taking the buses to the centre.

Knowing that it would be beneficial for me to discuss my role and their plans for Darius with the Main Teacher first, I approached her and conversated with her so she could answer my queries. She let me know that usually for the second day, the parent should not accompany him for too long and should learn to let go so that the teacher could take over and start to build a bond with him. I agreed this would be what I were to do today.

When the Circle Time began, Darius was trying to run away again while the other kids were forming up a circle. The teacher tried to pull him back but he struggled and began to whine. I then stood forward and stayed close to Darius while getting him to participate in the singing and dancing. He wanted to get away still but I distracted him by handing him some toy fruits and animals now and then.

Through the session, he appeared quite ‘stoned’ while his observed the reactions of the kids around him constantly. Like yesterday, when the kids shouted or made loud noises, I could see Darius’ expression changing and his tears about to flow down his cheeks. I quickly distracted him by singing songs softly into his ears or reciting familiar stories to him. That helped kept his tears from watering his eyes.

After the Circle Time, I thought I should let Darius be left alone with the teachers and little friends for some time. I knew crying and whining would be inevitable but I had to learn to let go so that three of us would be able to move forward.

When I returned to the centre nearly an hour later, Darius was nowhere to be found. A teacher noticed my presence and told me he was in the supervisor’s office with the Main Teacher as he had been crying non-stop. “Oh no,” I said to myself, “Have I been too cruel by leaving him all alone in the centre with the teachers on just his second day there?” I couldn’t help but feeling guilty for ‘abandoning’ him.

As I was heading towards the office, the teacher happened to just coming out of the room, carrying Darius in her arms. I could see traces of his tears and mucus flowing out of his nose. The teacher said that she had tried wiping them off several times but they kept flowing out. She also told me that although she had managed to calm him down by singing to him, he started sobbing again the moment she stopped singing. This singing method was also one of the tactics we had used on Darius when he was whining or crying.

I then excused myself again so that the teacher could continue to bond with Darius, though this time I would be just standing outside and watching him through the windows. When he saw me leaving by the door, he merely looked in my direction without crying or whining. Well… was that an improvement or had he already gave up on crying since he knew he wouldn’t be able to change anything?

Soon, it was time for his lunch, which was served in small bowls and a plastic spoon. Today’s menu was fried rice with vegetables, and desserts being watermelon and jelly.

Darius observing how the other kids fed themselves

As Darius was unable to really self-feed himself yet, the Main Teacher took the initiative to feed him. Darius was cooperative and finished his lunch quite promptly, He was probably very hungry since he only had some biscuits for breakfast.

At this moment, Catherine had arrived at the centre after her interview, and we went in together. After we met the Main Teacher, she mentioned that she was quite pleased with his progress and could feel Darius was beginning to open up to her, calming down when she was singing to him and willing to let her feed him. She also felt I had done well to be able to leave Darius alone with the teachers earlier so that he could begin to get used to the life in the centre.

With that, we brought Darius out of the centre since it was already past noon. When he got to the ground and free to roam around again, his smiles immediately returned and got back to his cheerful mood. Well, we can’t help but felt it was quite cruel for him to get ‘couped up’ in the centre since he loves the outdoor and walking so much, yet it’s not something we can really do about for now. Hopefully he will gradually open up his heart to his teachers and other kids and begin to enjoy their company.

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